video sound plays over other flash sound

I have a website with a music player that turns on automatically and plays 
songs until the user clicks the stop button. This player is a music clip 
(mc_topmusicmenu). I'd like to add some video to the website, but it just 
starts up automatically too, so that both things are playing at once. I'd like 
the video file to a. not start up automatically, and b. to stop all sounds and 
get the mc_topmusicmenu to move to frame 1. How do I do this with an external 
video clip?

 Thanks for any help. I'm a bit of a newbie.